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| Pictured (left to right) first row: Salad, Big Mo, Emery, Dane, Kilburn, TV, Moller, Jaldin, Dan Day, Ian Hill, Goemaat, Coach Simon. Second row: Lev, Simon, Mike, Sam, Trevor, Fabio, Milstein, Cam. Photo credit the venerable Dave Emery |
For the fourth year in a row, the Jive Turkeys awoke far too
early on Saturday morning, in a boozy stupor, to drive to Haverford College for
Haverween. I, in my ongoing quest to stay on the team for the rest of forever
despite having graduated last May, came along for the ride.
Before Saturday’s drive, we had an important milestone to
celebrate on campus: Trevor’s 21st birthday! And celebrate it we
did, with a party at Goemaat’s House followed by a rather bizarre excursion to
Alibi’s, a place I’ve been to more times during the day than the night. The typical
21st birthday tomfoolery took place, but the next morning we were
treated to a few surprises, namely that Trevor, our trusty captain and Regent
of Responsibility, was not at the cushies. Nor did he show up when it was time
to leave, so, against our best wishes, we headed for the interstate. Well, all
of us except for Moller, who needed to have his car jumped by none other than
yours truly. Forces were conspiring against the Turks to make for a potentially
painful morning. Thankfully, Trevor was found and joined Moller’s car, but not
in time for the start of games. Congrats Trevor, by sleeping through a
tourney wake up you’ve become a true Jive Turkey. One of us! One of us!
Saturday
Because I view highway speed limits as “Optional,” the car of
myself, Kellen, and Fabio made it to the fields with plenty of time to spare,
but not plenty of players. No one else showed up for half an hour. And the
tournament had been reformatted, meaning we had 5 games in one day. Again, some
higher power was punishing us for Friday night. These games, however, were
against largely inept opposition, including Drexel B, Haverford B, Villanova
(secretly their B team), Fordham (secretly terrible), and Philly U (not
secretly terrible).
Drexel B proved a decent first game, as we were able to
build a comfortable lead and get the freshmen some early playing time. We took
half at 7-2 with a combination of good defense and better upside down throws.
By now, Trevor and co. had finally showed up, and while most of the car rushed
to cleat up, Captain Greasetrucks seemed “happier” to hang out on the sidelines
for a bit. Why did I put happier in airquotes? I’ll explain. Rumor has it that
Trev muttered something about not feeling entirely coordinated, like some
invisible force was inhibiting his ultimate abilities. That, my friends, might
have been a hangover, and step one in trying to understand why Jive often plays
like cow dung the morning after a party.
The second game was against Philly U. Philly U pretty much
never shows up to these fall tournaments with a team of current players,
bringing many alums instead. Well, not on this day. Dressed as Risky Business, they had a lot of
new players and it showed: 13-0 win for Jive. Bagels for everyone! Let’s not
talk about this game in any actually detail, for calling it a game of ultimate
would be misleading and untrue.
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| #Blessed |
Round three pitted Jive against Villanova, a team that beat
us last year at Haverween, but lost to the good people of Carlisle a couple
weeks ago at West Chester. I remember them being a young with fundamentally
sound handlers, but this weekend they were young without fundamentally sound handlers, so we
won 12-5. They sat most of their A-line guys, and through some excellent
interviewing, your author found out that Nova didn’t “have enough money” to
send both an A and a B-team to the tourney because they are attending Easterns next weekend. It’s a bold strategy, Cotton, let’s see if it pays off for them.
The Haverford B and Fordham games proved no more competitive
than the previous three. We felled Haverford B 13-3 and played Pick Six rules
against Fordham. I believe Kilburn rattled off three in a row, to which Fordham
started growing upset with our shenanigans. No matter, we beat them too. A 13-3
victory meant the Jive men finished 5-0 on the day, and the Lady Turks won all
four of their games, too. Can’t hate on a combined 9-0.
We knew that Sunday’s competition would be much tougher, but
until then, we were intent on celebrated our successes with Busch Hunting, deep
haus, a fog machine, and, because of the previous three things, a noise
complaint and visit from the cops. Classic JF Turks Saturday night, this is why we cannot have nice
things.
Sunday
Finally time for some real ultimate! Saturday was fun but
mostly devoid of any arduous challenge. Sunday, on the other hand, was bracket
play, and with a potential rematch with Haverford on the line, we needed to get
to work.
St. Joseph’s was our quarterfinals matchup, the team that
won Haverween last year. Our offensive movement was dominant from the
beginning, and we showed a good ability to transition from horizontal to
vertical stack, and vice versa, on the fly, something we were not forced to do on
Saturday. We took half at 8-3, and cruised from there, wrapping up the game
15-8. Of note, my terrible, horrible, miserable hammer to Trevor on the last
point. Mental note: lofty hammers into triple coverage do not work.
For the semis, we faced the Haverford Alumni. As we were
playing the alums, Haverford A faced Gettysburg, and Gburg jumped out to a
surprising 4-1 lead that would not at all last while we started off trading points. After 3-3, however, we
started clicking, and energy and speed helped us win our matchups on offense
and get turnovers on defense. We took half by a score of 8-5 and finished
strong 15-9. We had a much bigger sideline than the alums, and the gulf in
numbers no doubt helped us, and an early finish allowed us to catch the end of
Haverford’s win against Gburg. We had our rematch, our final.
You'd be guilty of massive understatement for merely saying both teams came ready to play. Last year, we lost on universe point to the Donkeys in what was a hard fought, wind-affected game. Jive wanted revenge, and Haverford wanted to win Haverween for the first time. As it were, these points were long and tiring, but Jive jumped out to a 3-1 lead before calling time out to recover a bit. We responded exactly how we wanted out of the break, with three more points, forcing Haverford into regrouping with a time out of their own. Following the second pause, Jive entered half with an 8-2 lead that was much more strenuous than the score line would suggest. The second half continued with the same strong offense and consistent defensive pressure, but Haverford put a few more on the board. At 14-8, Trevor found Kilburn in the end zone with a hammer, giving us a nice story arc and our 15th point. For the second time in three years, Jive had won Haverween, finishing 8-0 in the process with a goal difference of +68.
You'd be guilty of massive understatement for merely saying both teams came ready to play. Last year, we lost on universe point to the Donkeys in what was a hard fought, wind-affected game. Jive wanted revenge, and Haverford wanted to win Haverween for the first time. As it were, these points were long and tiring, but Jive jumped out to a 3-1 lead before calling time out to recover a bit. We responded exactly how we wanted out of the break, with three more points, forcing Haverford into regrouping with a time out of their own. Following the second pause, Jive entered half with an 8-2 lead that was much more strenuous than the score line would suggest. The second half continued with the same strong offense and consistent defensive pressure, but Haverford put a few more on the board. At 14-8, Trevor found Kilburn in the end zone with a hammer, giving us a nice story arc and our 15th point. For the second time in three years, Jive had won Haverween, finishing 8-0 in the process with a goal difference of +68.
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| Pictured: arcs |
Epilogue
As I mentioned at the start, I had the misfortune of
graduating in May, meaning my time as a Jive Turkey came to a close last spring. Except not really. It strikes me as a testament to the bonds of the members of this team and how
those relationships transcend silly things like age gaps and Years of Graduation,
that alums (myself included) ask to play at fall tournaments. We alumni no longer have
the convenience of practicing four times a week to stay in shape, and we
certainly do not know the new freshmen, but still we want to recapture a few
moments of our time with this team. So we sign up for tournaments to get a
chance to spend a weekend with friends that we no longer see on a daily basis.
And for a couple days, we share memories of our college days and reflect on
past tournaments, and make new memories by playing the sport that brought us
all together in the first place. For this pleasure I have no single person to
thank, rather the many people who make up the Jive Turkeys.
So great Haverween everyone. I can’t yet say if we will do
it again next year, but we did it this year, and that is good enough.
Select Highlights
-the extended cameo from Rock Hands
-Salad getting pulled over by Haverford campus police for
pushing Dane around in a wheelbarrow.
-Jaldin’s layout Ds and subsequent injuries
-Mike sleeping in the bathroom.
-trapping Dan Day inside the auxiliary blanket and carrying
him into the middle of the fields.
-Max Charles skying Trevor. Video is here
-Deep Haus party
-INCREASE THE FOG! THE FOG OF WAR!!!
-Birthday present tournament wins.
-“Halftime” Hans Zimmer, the greatest sideline music ever.
-Except for this Interstellar trailer song, the new greatest sideline music ever. Did somebody say Nolan?!?!
-Except for this Interstellar trailer song, the new greatest sideline music ever. Did somebody say Nolan?!?!
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