The Grinch(es) Who Stole the NBA Season

This years playoff baseball was awesome. Even the most ADD, anti-baseball folks had to take a break from sipping their American Pastime haterade. The end of season drama including not one, but two Mets-esque collapses by the Braves and the Red Sox, a walk off Grand-slam, Lance "Beef" Berkman being a boss, and the Yankees losing. All in all, one of the great playoffs I've seen in my lifetime.

Life was good for a sports fan. The NFL season was actually happening, College Football was heading into conference play. Fuck yeah. Football and Baseball are America's two major sports, right (sorry Nascar)? Not only that, but even the MLS was mildly decent! The often mocked little brother of the major sports, the NHL was generating some excitement. Actually, nevermind, no one cares about Hockey until the Olympics or the playoffs.

All of the fans down in fanville were cheering their asses off.

Off in the distance though, alone on Mount Crumpet, the NBA owners, commisioner, players union, and Michael Jordan (yes, even though he is kinda an asshole, he still deserves to be mentioned separately) were plotting.

"We locked them out? How can this be? We took their jumpers and pumpers. Their wizbang-dunkers and clunkers. Their whining superstars, and million dollar cars. Yet the fans down in fanville still cheer. Alone in mount crumpet, this is certainly queer."

Now at this point in the Dr. Seuss epic, we see this happen: "And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say - that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day. And then - the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of *ten* Grinches, plus two!" And thats exactly how I felt when they finally came to an agreement that the NBA season would be returned to the fans. I mean, given, this does not mean you should forgive the NBA for the display of greed, selfishness, and overall anti-spirit of giving they displayed these past few months. But it really was the perfect parallel to the Grinch story, the first games are going to start on Christmas even. Little Cindy Lou can lace up her new Knickerbockers orange and blue for a Christmas slam-kalamazoo. Dr. Seuss himself would be proud.

Now imagine the most evil laugh in the world. That is what this grinch just did. He fooled us all. He came down and sung Christmas carols with us, before slipping ipecac in our eggnog and howling in amusement at the synchronized vomiting of all the fans down in fanville. Chris Paul to the Lakers in a trade that according to all sources was very well balanced trade, makes the most important team in the NBA (the Lakers) a huuuggggeee story for the upcoming season, and sets the Hornets up for a solid couple of years while they rebuild. Kobe and Chris Paul together, sounds about as good as it gets. I hate the Lakers, and I still would love to watch that team (lose to the Bulls in the NBA finals).

But no, obviously that doesn't matter anymore. David Stern didn't veto the trade because it was bad for the basketball teams, he did it because it was bad for the owners pockets. I understand it consolidates star power onto even one fewer team. I understand that was one of the complaints that started the lockout to begin with. But this is supposed to be a professional sport, not some $30 fantasy league where trades can be vetoed like a bill passed through congress (come on, we don't want sports to sink to the level of politics, do we?)

Greedy grinchy NBA owners, tisk tisk. They tried to one up the Grinch. They even vetoed an attempted fix to the first trade to give EVEN MORE to the Hornets that could help them build into an elite franchise.

But you know what? Fuck 'em. I know that they are banking on their fans staying loyal even through this BS, and if I really wanted to get back at them I would just stop being an NBA fan. I mean shit, I live in Lawrence, KS the college basketball capital of the world. And believe me I will follow the Jayhawks like any good Kansan. There. I just won't watch the NBA. What now Stern? I don't need you. Go back to Mount Crumpet, count you dollars and watch me give mine to the NFL and MLB instead..... shiver, sniffle, tear.

I can't do it. I like (dare I say love?) the NBA too much. The drama, the personalities, the douchebags, the trade rumors, the Joakim Noah's, the Brad Miller's, the Glen "I hate you" Davis'. I want you back. No, I need you back NBA. Sometimes the flaws in a person make them likable, just as the flaws in this league, make it so fun. Last years NBA season was awesome. The grinches tried to spoil this one, but hopefully it was a failed plot. Condensed season, back to back to backs, 4 games in 5 nights, 30 games in 50 days. It will be an interesting ride, and I think this season will show that just as the holiday spirit is not about tinsle and dradles, but rather the spirit of family, giving, and cheer; in the end, sports are not about the signing bonuses or hardcaps, but rather passion, comradery, winning and egos.

Please prove me right NBA.